Thirteen Reasons Why (Zander)
by risty234
Summary: Zander Robbins is dead but before he died he made sure to make tapes to explain why he killed himself. Now it's Stevie turn to receive the package from Zander cause believe it or not she is one of the reason.
1. Tape 1

I was coming out of Kacey's car. "See you later Kace" I told her while closing the car door. I waved at Kacey when she started leaving. I walked to the front door of her house. There stood a package with no address but it had my address down. I picked up the package before going into my house. My parents weren't home and one of my brothers was home. I immediately went into her room which was considered in the basement. I opened the package; I saw the sets of tapes labeled one, two, three and etc. I thought about who had a cassette player. I immediately thought of my parents. I went into their room with my brother, Chris stood there. "What you doing in mom and dad room, you know they don't like you going in their room" Chris told me with a frown on his face. "I need to use the cassette player" I said while still searching. "Why" Chris questioned her. I looked up thinking should I tell him about the package. "Because I just do" I said and Chris handed his cassette player. "Thanks Chris" I said while running to her room. I locked my bedroom door. I sat on my bed and took one tape and put it in the cassette player. "Who uses tapes anymore?" I wondered aloud. I pushed play and there came Zander Robbins voice.

"_Hello Bitches, Zander Robbins here alive and everything, if you got this set of tape it means you are one of the awesome reasons why my life ended or specifically why I ended my own life._

I quickly pushed pause on the cassette player. How could I be on one of this tape? It made no sense to me. It was just two weeks ago when Zander killed himself. Everybody in the school went to the funeral. It was shocking to all of us. I pushed play on the cassette player.

"_But I have a couple of rules of course, after you go through all the tapes you have to send this package to the next person on the tape after you. That don't apply to the 13__th__ person you get to keep this and listen over and over again until it drives you mad. Rule number two, you have to listen no matter what. _

I felt sick to my stomach Zander never made rules; he never followed them as well.

**Play **

_In the package you will find a map with circles around a place, which means each reason, is related to one of these places. You can visualize better if actually go to the place. Remember everyone that has gotten this package it means you did something to me little or big the point is you destroyed me. Well I supposed that's it bye bitches _

The tape ended or so I thought until I heard Zander speaking again.

_Each tape actually gets worse, so be prepared for the worst anybody listening. Also if you don't send this package, I have copies it will be sent all over the internet where all of you guys secrets will spill; it might even destroy you in the end like it did for me. SEE YA BITCHES _

I sighed and the tape officially ended. You could hear Zander bitterness, it was quite strange. His laugh was different, filled with anger, pain. Chris knocked on the door and I opened it. "Dinner" Chris told me and I nodded while putting away the package. I sat down at my table with everyone just eating, laughing. I couldn't bring myself to laugh. "Hun, I know you miss, Zander" My mom told me while grabbing my hand. I don't know exactly why I did it, I just started laughing hysterically. I pushed my food away from me before going to my bedroom. I locked the door again. I flipped the other side of the tape and sighed before pushing play on the cassette player.

_Wow I'm shock that you guys are still here but since you here, you might want to go to my old high school, Adam High School where this reason starts off. _

I looked at the map; it was a thirty minute drive. I walked outside to the bus stop and I saw the bus coming. I sat on the bus looking at the trees passing by. When I finally saw Zander old high school before coming to Brewster High School, I sat down in a bench in front of it before pressing play again.

_Gary Tony you were new during the summer before high school started. So you arrived at Adam High School. I spent most of my time in this town, I basically knew everybody in this town. The beginning of high school was hell, I lost all of my friends but guess whose fault that was, spreading a rumor about me how I was a murder, and I slept around with my best friends' girlfriends. I never did that Gary Tony but the whole school believed you because you were the top of the social status but I was second place. You know what it's like to feel like to be hated Do you Gary? I was the first person to become friends with you. I confronted you about it once. Remember Gary, I saw you and Alexis kissing; remember that all my friends went along with the rumors even the girlfriends went along to. Everyday something went wrong everybody accused me of being responsible. Because of you, I lost my own reputation and it was formed into something different. Reputation is what only cared about wasn't it. Gary I became your friend because I thought you was the coolest person I ever meet. I was wrong Gary; you were the first person who started to break me down. _

I felt sick to my stomach as I stared at the school; all I could see was the sight of Zander being accused of everything.

_But don't worry Gary Tony you aren't only person in this. Alexis believe it or not you are one of these tapes but I'm not going to tell you which tape you are involved with you just have to keep listening. Bye Bitch_

The tape stopped and I also felt my heart stop as well. How could someone like Gary break down Zander. Is this the reason why he moved to Brewster High School because of this Gary Tony or was it Alexis, I don't even know her last name. I started to walk back to the bus stop and I got on the bus. I waited while looking out the window while I couldn't stop thinking about Zander. As soon as I enter the house, I saw my parents sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. "Where have you been" Dad asked me. I just shrugged. "Hun we know you're hurting but you running off in the middle of night don't make it better" My mom told me. I rolled my eyes. "You don't know anything mom, I wish you both would stop, you didn't like him, so don't act like you care that he dead. I was in love with him but he wasn't good enough for me" I shouted at them. My mom and dad opened their mouth. I didn't give them a chance to say anything, I rushed downstairs and I could hear Chris defending me. I smiled usually Chris and I don't get along really. I locked my door and I put on my pjs before going into my bed. I closed my eyes but I couldn't fall asleep without thinking about Zander. He always seemed happy, so what went wrong is that he made these tapes to make us know about what happen. There was no suicide letter, his mom found his body drenched in his blood on his bed. While thinking all about this I managed to fall asleep. When I opened my eyes, my alarm clock went off and I groaned. I looked on my desk with the tapes. I grabbed them and put them in my backpack along with the cassette tape. I heard the honk from Kacey. I changed quickly and put on a hat on. I grabbed a piece of toast from Ben and walked out of my house with my backpack. I opened the passenger seat. Kacey was applying makeup for some unknown reason. I can't stand makeup. Zander couldn't stand make up I thought to myself. "Your parents told me about what happened yesterday" Kacey told me and I sighed to myself. I didn't want to get into. "I know about the package" Kacey said to me and I turned to her. "You on one those tapes" I asked her shocked and Kacey nodded and gave me a small smile. "So if you ever need a ride to get to one of those places, just call me" Kacey said to me while pulling up to the school and we went into the school and in the band room. We saw Nelson and Kevin just staring at Zander's guitar and I bit my lip so hard that blood was coming out. Stevie doesn't cry, but I couldn't help it. I fell on the floor and just started sobbing. Kacey hugged me while I felt the tears fall on my shirt. "They taking the guitar to put in the glass to remember Zander" Nelson stated to Kacey and I. I didn't say anything; I hated walking passed the glass case, with Zander that held a smile in the picture. It got too much, I was sure that I was going to have a panic attack because of that. We all sat down on the couch not making a sound. "Stevie, we all got the package" Kevin told me with a small smile with pain in his eyes. "Gosh, why does Zander want us to feel guilty" I screamed at all of them. "What tape am I" I asked them. "Stevie, we can't tell you that" Kacey said to me. "But what you did isn't as bad as what Nelson, Kevin or even me did to him, so you have nothing to worry about" Kacey told me with a small smile while putting her hand on my shoulder.


	2. Tape 2

All day I just wanted to listen to the tapes and get it over with. Finally school was over; I was sitting in Kacey's car with her in the driver's seat. I put in the second tape labeled 2 in the cassette player. I pushed play and I closed my eyes sighing a little.

_Hello bitches, the next stop I want you to go to is the Saint Coffee Place. That is where the next story is. _

"Saint Coffee Place" I told Kacey and she pulled out of the parking lot. She drove to Saint Coffee Place which was close to Adam High School, I came to realization that Zander was going to be talking about people who went to Adam High School first then Brewster High School.

_Now sit in the back where the booths are and if you thirsty, make sure you get hot coco, it is amazing thing to drink at Saint Coffee Place. Principal Rock where you usually drink your coffee, here you are on this tape Principal Rock. You knew about the rumors, you knew the harassment I had received. I complained so many times and you know what you said to me. Do you remember huh, do you? Because I do you said TO GET OVER IT. You also said it must be true they were just rumors Principal Rock. Isn't what principals supposed to care about each child but you didn't. You just turned a blind eye. Act like nothing was going on but you knew everything. _

I was looking out the window and I saw a lady that looked like she was at least 45 years old. She sat right in front of me sipping on coffee. In an instant I knew it Principal Rock. The second person on tape, she must have received this package before me. It only makes sense. I felt some hatred burning inside of me just staring at her. Kacey saw me and she shook her head. I pushed play again.

_You Principal Rock, you were considered the coolest principal because you let things passed, like when the whole football team cheated on their finals or when they raped a student at school. You didn't truly care about the students all you wanted was a great reputation so did I. We were so much alike Principal Rock you and me. So why didn't you stop all the harassment. You saw when they tied me to the flagpole, naked I must add or when they put something in my food that I was allergic. What about that time when I fell down a flight of stairs, did you even call 911 at any of those moments, the moments that I could have died or did you just ignore it? I remembered you never did anything instead Alexis or Brittney called 911 but it was never you. You didn't stop them from doing life-death pranks instead you told my dad and me that it was just what high school boys DO. That was some bullshit Principal Rock and you know it. Which is why you are on this tape, Principal Rock, all of this could have been prevented if you enforced the rules you made. Bullying is not tolerant. Zander laughed bitterly. "That right there was a lie Principal Rock. I have no idea how you sleep at night when you could have prevented me from breaking down. You may be the second tape but remember you still are one of the reasons. Rot in hell Bitch. _

The tape stopped and I felt the tears sliding down her face. I was so upset, that I finally realized why Zander moved to Brewster High. He had no friends, bullying severally. He didn't deserve it. How could nobody stop the bullying at all? Kacey saw my face and I just put my face in my hands. "I can't keep listening Kacey, it's too much" I told her while we was in the car while driving back into town. "You want to know where you fall on the tapes don't you" Kacey asked me and I nodded. "Look, it does get harder but I will be here, Kevin, and Nelson we both will be with you while you listen to the tapes okay" Kacey gave me a soft small smile. "Thank you, Kacey" I said to her while staying in the car absorbing the house. "Stevie remembered that at some point all of us wanted to stop listening but we didn't because deep down you would like to know why Zander killed himself" Kacey said to me

_Welcome back listener, yes Principal Rock you ruined my life but this tape is about you Alexis Snow yes you. You and I wasn't close but you never did anything wrong till one party. Do you feel any remorse do you huh because I have to live with what you did? I don't know how you convinced me to go to the big party that George Kite was throwing. I was just standing in the corner just drinking punch, and when I put my cup down to use the bathroom. You put something in my drink Alexis, I know it was you. I trusted you more than anything because you never did anything to me. I thought we were cool, so cool but we weren't obviously. I don't remember much about that night of the party. I remembered one thing from that night that George threw me on the bed and you just stood there by the door along with the rest of the football team watching as George took my clothes, each player took turns raping me. You, Brittney thought it was so funny to watch somebody get raped. _

I stopped the tape before opening the door to throw up. I felt so sick to my stomach; Zander Robbins was raped by the whole football team.

_Alexis why didn't you stop it, why did you let it happen. I begged and I begged but you, nobody stopped it. The next morning, I remembered feeling so sore. I basically stormed out of the house, but Alexis you stopped me. Your eyes full of emotions I couldn't identify. Don't worry, George Kite you will have your own tape if you think you getting out of this easily. You're not. You ruined my life so I'm going to ruin yours. _

I stopped the tape and I just started crying, I couldn't stop it, how could Alexis Snow do this to Zander. She didn't rape him but she might as well have. She didn't stop it. Why Zander did hide all of this under a smile made all of us believed that you were okay when you wasn't. Nobody was expecting you to kill yourself. I forced myself to push play again while sitting in the chair. I closed my eyes, the tears still falling down my cheeks.

_Alexis Snow, I trusted you I still don't know to this day if you felt any remorse. I thought in your eyes, I could have saw pain, remorse but I never got a sorry from you. You never spoke to me after that night, why because you felt bad or because you were just playing with me Alexis. I trusted you but you did me wrong so many times. I could have forgiven you but you just watched me. You were just following what your boyfriend told you. I would have understood that Alexis, you were always a people pleaser, but you didn't want to please me. As for you Alexis, you aren't the only at that party that is part of the reason. _


	3. Tape 3

Kacey looked at me while sighing. "You want to continue listening to these tapes tonight" Kacey asked me. "No I think I should go home I wouldn't want my mom to get worry" I told her with a small smile. Kacey grabbed my hands and smiled sadly. "You can stay at my house if you want" Kacey told me. I sighed. "I would like that very much" I replied to her while the tears on my face. "He seemed so happy, Kacey" I asked Kacey even though I knew what she would say. "He wasn't Stevie and we all were so blind to think he was okay, it wasn't your fault" Kacey told me and I snapped. "Then why am I on one of these tapes" I snapped at her while tears falling faster. Kacey didn't say anything. She drove to her house, her house was so big it was like a mansion compared to my house. It still amazes me. Kacey parents usually weren't home and I felt guilt that her parents never seemed to be home. This was the time; Kacey needed her parents she lost our friend. Her parents just called to say I'm sorry about your friend that's it. Who does that? We walked into her house, just at the kitchen table, drinking hot coco with large marshmallows in it. Kacey and I didn't say anything. How could we? I didn't know what to say. After Kace and I finished our hot coco, we took a shower and went to bed. Kacey turned off the light. I tried to close my eyes but I couldn't. What if the tapes destroy what I think about Kacey, Nelson, or even Kevin? What if I couldn't ever look at anything the same ever again? These tapes could change everybody. Would Alexis feel guilty, would the football team confessed or would Alexis even go on the stand to say what she saw the football team did to Zander? All these thoughts came to me and I looked at Kacey, she was sleeping peacefully. I don't know how anybody could sleep like that with knowing you're the cause of it. In the mix of this, I feel asleep in the comfort of the bed. When I did manage to wake up, I heard the alarm go off. I opened my eyes to see Kacey still asleep. I threw a pillow at her head and in an instant she woke up. "What the heck, Stevie" Kacey complained at me. "Time to get up" I told her with a sly smile on my face. "Ugh, leave me alone" Kacey told me and I rolled my eyes while seeing her rush to the bathroom. "Hey Kace, you want to skip school today" I announced to her. Kacey's head popped out of the bathroom. "Really Stevie Baskara wants to skip school" Kacey acted all surprised and I rolled my eyes at her. "So you in" I asked her again. "Yeah definitely" Kacey said while getting herself out of the bathroom. I got dressed and walked out of the bathroom. We both got in her car and I stared at tape 3 in my hand along with the cassette tape. "Where to" Kacey asked me. I pushed play on the tape.

_Go to the next place on the map labeled George house. When you get there go upstairs to the first door on the left. _

"Go to 234 Frasier Street, Adam" I told Kacey and she nodded. We drove back to where Adam High was located. It was a house, which had a sign that was saying for sale. I knocked on the door and a lady came to the door. She looked about thirty years old. "Are you here for the open house" She asked me and I nodded. She let me in. I walked upstairs to the first room on the left. This must of have been a guy's room. I took a look around the room. The room had posters of the Beatles, Bon Jovi and other bands as well. It was a nice room.

_George Kite, who is he? Well he's the team captain of the football team at Adam High School. He has brown hair, pretty popular. George Kite you sure had fun with that party didn't you. You probably been planning that party all year didn't you. You planned it along with Alexis didn't you? You were always great at convincing people to follow your lead. What you did to me at the party was horrible? It destroyed any piece of pride I had. It wasn't the fact that you raped me George, it was the fact. There was a new rumor spreading about me being gay and I slept around. I wasn't a slut and I said no to you guys. I begged and begged, for you to stop, you didn't. George, you and Gary was pretty close wasn't you guys. You told Gary all about the plan didn't you, you wanted Gary to join in but this isn't about Gary. He already has his tape. I wasn't gay George, you was gay. You wanted me to shut up and never told anyone so that's where the black male begins. I never thought I could hate somebody as much as I hate you. I remember the time I became captain of the football team, but you hated that George, so you made a plan to destroy everything I ever dreamed about. You tripped me George so hard, that I fell, not only did my leg brake but my wrist was broken. I could never play football ever again. I loved football so much. I had to reevaluate my life after that incident. I could never play football ever again George, you told everyone I was kicked off the team because of drugs George. So thanks George for raping me for taking away football from me. _

I looked around the room once again this was the room that Zander was raped in from all the football players. I never thought I could feel so sick from this sight of a room. I turned the tape around and started listening to it.

_Like I said to Alexis, there were lots of people at the party who are on one of these tapes. Now it's your turn Brittney Andrews. Best friends with Alexis Snow. I used to have the biggest crush on you. For you listeners, you have to stay in this room for you to get this story. Brittney you wasn't always popular in fact, I do recall you used to have braces along with big circle glasses. I guess that's why we were friends, not the closest of friends. That's was when I had a crush on you Brittney, you wasn't like Alexis or anybody in the popular crowd. But then you changed over the summer Brittney you became a bitch, a bully. Somebody I couldn't stand it's was like you was somebody that I used to know. Man I did love that song but beside the point. You Brittney were the last straw to make me change schools. Remember that party, Brittney because I do. Do you still have that video of the football players raping me? You were standing next to Alexis, Brittney filming the whole thing. When I went to the police, you didn't give the video up; I looked like a fool Brittney. You could have helped me a lot Brittney. Do you feel any remorse about what you did? Well congrats Bitch Brittney you made it on one of these tapes. You always did want to make it on a list of some sort. _

The tape stopped, I felt so sick to my stomach and I rushed out of the house before the lady could stop me. I rushed into the car, I started breathing heavily. "Are you okay" Kacey asked me before giving me a small smile. I nodded. "Let me guess, the tape you just listened to is George Kite and Brittney Andrews" Kacey predicted and I nodded. "They were quite messed up huh" Kacey said to me before beginning to drive away from George Kite's house


	4. Tape 4

I stayed with Kacey for the rest of the week. My parents and I got into a heated fight but I knew somehow by bro, Chris would defend me. I guess ever since Zander's death, all my brothers and I got along more. That was the only good thing that came out from his death. Everybody in my world got closer to each other. For example I'm pretty sure that Kevin and Kacey are dating completely. I mean she never said anything about it at all. Now here I am in the gym at Adam High School, the next location Zander told me about. I haven't started listening to the tape; I watched the school's basketball team play, the girls' basketball team to be specific. I noticed one of the girl's jersey said Snow on the back of it. She turned her head and I realized that was Alexis Snow, the girl that Zander was talking about. She was quite beautiful no way to deny that. And another girl's jersey said Andrews and she was talking with Alexis. I guessed that was Brittney Andrews. Brittney hair was red and Alexis' hair was a solid brunette hair that you could tell that she never dyed her hair. I knew that Brittney hair used to be blonde but it wasn't her naturally hair color because when they introduced the team, they used old photos of each girl. I guessed that Brittney went back to her old hair color just yesterday. After the game was over, Adam won the game compared to Brewster high. I was sitting there on the stands when a coach told me it was time to leave. I saw Alexis walk up to him. "Coach its fine let her stay" Alexis told the coach and I looked down. The coach sighed and walked away. Alexis took a seat down next to me. "So you must be on the tape" Alexis told me. "Yeah I am" I told her harshly. "Look I know what I did to Zander was completely wrong" She told me while looking at me. I sighed because I knew she was telling the truth. "When I heard Zander was dead, I felt sick to my stomach because somehow I knew I was responsible for him killing himself" Alexis continued while fiddling with her hands. "Those tapes are really bad but 13th reason isn't bad at all" Alexis told me while walking off into the locker room. I sighed and pushed play.

_Welcome back listener I'm guessing you are in the gym, which is where Coach Smith hangs out the most of course being the football coach and the girls' basketball coach. This is Coach Robert Smith story is located. So sit back and enjoy it. Coach Smith, you was always the best to me, you were my idol for the longest time. Coach Smith you were my coach for football until I had to leave the team. You hated that didn't you? Coach Smith can I call you Robert instead; I don't think you would mind. Anyway Robert how could you plan the football players to rape me. Were you that upset with me? It wasn't my choice Robert; if it was all up to me I would have stayed. I guess some part of me wasn't shocked Robert that you were so angry at me. When I went to your office to ask you why you remember what you did Robert because it was always on my mind. I hated myself Robert. Were you gay or something? You made a move on me, you sexually harassed me Coach. I felt so disgusted by it. I never wanted to go back to Adam High ever again. You made me uncomfortable to walk in the halls the fact you were always staring at me when I told you to stop it you never did. So that's why you on the tape, Coach Robert Smith, for making me uncomfortable, for planning the rape, for making a move on me or sexually harassed me. So thanks Coach for everything you did. _

The tape stopped playing and I felt so disgusted by this whole school. I saw Alexis walking out with Coach Smith, she looked uncomfortable. I walked up to the Coach. He looked about thirty years old. "Hey Coach, great job" I told him while grabbing Alexis away from him. "Thanks" Alexis told me and I sighed. "As much as I want to hate you I can't" I told her. "You should really tell someone about Coach Smith" I informed her. "You don't get it this town is corrupted, the police does nothing, this school doesn't do anything" Alexis told me while going into her car. "By the way I'm Stevie" I informed Alexis and she smiled a little. "You really did make Zander happy you know" Alexis told me while driving away from the parking lot. I smiled to myself to see Kacey waiting in the car. I went inside the car. "Hey" I told her. "Hey so you and Alexis was speaking to each other" Kacey stated to me while pulling away from the school parking lot. I started thinking about everything that Alexis said the police was corrupted in this town. Zander was miserable because of this town. Kacey drove me to the next destination. "Why is this town so corrupt" I asked Kacey and she just shrugged. I turned the tape over while looking at the police station. It was this lady that was just sitting outside the station smoking.

**PLAY**

_Welcome to the most corrupted police station, where you can bribe the officers to not arrest people or even hear the victim's story at all. This is your story, Officer Stratford. You are probably the most corrupt person in the whole police force in this town. You know when I was raped I went to the police station you said that I was a liar that they was no way I could get raped at all since I am a male. You didn't even want to listen to my story. You took one look and told me to stop wasting your time. I wanted you to help me Officer. Did you know that day I was attacked and you saw it and you just stood there because someone bribed you. It wasn't fair to anybody, like Alexis, Brittney or anyone else. Isn't a police job is protect the citizens. You sure as hell you did that didn't you Officer Stratford? So thanks for helping me or even this town. Do you even feel guilty that Zander Robbins the liar is dead and he killed himself? This is why you are on this tape, Officer Stratford. I hope you happy Officer Stratford and you certainly don't deserve to be a police officer._

The tape stopped playing and I felt so sick to my stomach I could hardly breathe. "This town is really corrupt" I said out loud but Kacey didn't hear me and we drove to her house. It was filled with silence. I thought about Alexis, Brittney and those other people on these tapes. I really wanted to know where I fit in all this. Everybody keeps telling me that I'm not the worst tape so how come I'm not the second or third tape. I just want to hurry up these tapes so I can get over this quickly. Once we got to Kacey's house, we just sat down at the kitchen table not speaking. I thought about how all my opinions changed about police, Adam High and everybody related to that school. 


	5. Tape 5

I don't remember that much about that night. Kacey drove me back to the school. I didn't even move. I hold the box of the tapes. I felt so sick; I felt tears drip from my eyes. "Hey Stevie, it's going to be okay" Kacey told me and I snapped at her. "How could you say that Zander is dead, what if what you did ruin my opinion of you guys huh" I told her before storming into the band room. I locked the door. I put another tape into the cassette player that I held so deep in my hands. I sighed. Tape 5 here it goes.

**PLAY **

_Hello Kevin Reed, shocked to know you are on this tape. Must say I'm shocked too maybe even more. Let me tell you something Kevin. We knew each for a while before I even moved to Brewster High. You were the popular kid in school, so I must say I was shocked to know that you went to Brewster High and even more that you Kevin Reed cut yourself. Gosh you made me promise to you that I wasn't going to tell anyone. I didn't Kevin because I always keep my promise but Kevin you told the whole Brewster that I Zander Robbins had an eating disorder. Even though that was true doesn't mean anyone was supposed to know. Kevin people looked at me strange and I felt so insecure about everything that was me the Zander Robbins I was supposed to be. _

**PAUSE **

I felt my heart break in two, Kevin Reed cuts himself. Zander had an eating disorder. I remember that day, the day that the rumor was spreading so fast. Zander immediately denied anything about an eating disorder. Why, did he, lie to everyone especially me. I saw the door opened and I saw Kevin walked in and sat on the couch. "Yeah I know you on my tape Stevie" He said to me while looking down at the ground. I sat down next to him. "I'm going to stop" Kevin told me. I just looked down. I realized how blind I must have been, Kevin was always wearing short sleeves and I sighed. "Really Kevin" I asked him with sincerity in my voice. "Yes, I'm talking to my parents, therapists, guidance counselor and everything, I'm already getting slightly better" Kevin told me with a small smile on his face. I felt myself smile. "Look I'm staying here with you till you done with these tapes" Kevin commented to me and I nodded. I needed somebody here with me to continue listening to these tapes. "I'm glad Kevin that you're here with me and I won't have to worry about losing another friend" I whispered to him while putting back on the cassette player

**PLAY **

_But Kevin don't feel bad what you did to me wasn't as bad as what other people did to me. I couldn't trust you even though I wanted. Kevin, you and I had some great memories and for that I thank you. I also hope that you get help for whatever problems you have. Kevin I hated you but I loved you. You were like a brother me. The only person I could depend on. Kevin Reed don't end up like me, someone who kills themselves because other people. Oh and one more thing Kevin, killing yourself is never the answer. Goodbye Kevin Reed and the world. _

**STOPPED **

I look over at Kevin, he was looking down and he looked back up. I sighed. "Kevin" I told him. "I know what I did to Zander was wrong totally and completely wrong" Kevin told me. "Kevin, everybody makes mistakes" I replied to him softly. "I forced him to keep my cutting a secret" Kevin rambled on and I took his head and looked in his eyes. Tears fell from his eyes and Kevin and I hugged each back tightly crying. We both were mourning over the loss of a friend, we had a connection, and we both were one of the reasons why Zander killed himself. When I did finally to pull myself away from the emotions, I turned the tape around to part B. I looked at Kevin and sighed before doing the one thing left to do.

**PLAY: **

_Nelson Baxter, the loyal friend to Kevin Reed. You guys were always together not that it bothered me. You know what bothered me the most was that you Nelson thought it would be a great idea to call Alexis Snow and make her ruin my life. I never kissed Grace ever. She wasn't my type and Nelson not that you would know but Grace King was my cousin so there was no way that her and me would ever get together. So thanks for ruining my life by bringing the people that hurt me the most to see me. You know Nelson; I knew it was you who called them. I knew it was you when you got my old yearbook picture and posted all around the school. The one thing that hurts me the most was that, he stashed drugs into my lockers and got me suspended, meaning I couldn't perform with Gravity 5. I never ever took drugs in my life but you did Nelson and I know that. Even though you hurt me Nelson Baxter, you were still my brother but you are and always are one of the reasons why I Zander Robbins killed himself. I hope that will always be on your conscious._

**STOPPED **

The tape stopped and I looked at Kevin, his eyes were staring at the wall. "That's why you and Nelson stopped speaking to each other, he was doing drugs" I asked him even though I knew the answer. "Yes, Zander was the only one who noticed that" Kevin looked down at his wrists. "But, you think Zander's death going to change him back" I asked him and Kevin shook his head quickly, I must add. "He's too deep" Kevin mumbled but I could understand since I had to put up with him talking when eating food. I always thought it was disgusting but now Kevin never does that. Zander always loved that. I sighed and looked at my watch. "Just so you know Kevin, it doesn't change my opinion of you" I said before leaving the band room. I saw Nelson in the hall and he fell down on the floor. I rushed to him and felt for a pulse. I called 911 quickly. The ambulance came and I just stood there. I knew what happened. _Overdosed, Overdosed_. I kept saying to myself. Nelson was smart and always been so what happen to that kid. What happen to everyone? I haven't seen Molly or even Grace around the school. I sat down on the floor of the hospital room. I knocked on the door and there Nelson Baxter his eyes closed but I knew he was still alive. I sat in the chair next to his bed. I saw his chest rising. I closed my eyes and opened them hoping somehow, that Nelson was going to be awake and go back to himself. I kept playing those words that Kevin said. _He's in too deep. _I wanted my brain to stop thinking for once. I wanted everything to be fine. I looked over and there Nelson was groaning. I scooted up to him. Nelson opened his eyes. "Hey" I greeted him. It was a while since him and I spoke together. "What you doing here" He asked me. "I was worried about you" I told sincerely. "I ruined Zander didn't I" Nelson rambled on. I didn't know how to answer to that. "We all did Nelson" I told him and his head turned around so fast. "You didn't do anything Stevie and you know it" Nelson told me harshly. "Then why am I on one of those tapes" I asked him but didn't get a response. Nelson fell back to sleep.


	6. Tape 6

I just sat next to Nelson's bed and he woke up staring at me. "What are you doing here still" He asked me and I just shrugged because to be honest I had no idea. "Stevie" Nelson whispered to me and I heard the crack in his voice. "Why did Zander have to do this to us" Nelson asked me and I felt a piece of my heart break. "I don't know Nelson but everything is going to be fine okay" I told him while grabbing his hand. "Thanks Stevie" He replied with a sad smile and I smiled back not much of a smile. "You going to get help, no more drugs and we going to get through this together I promise you Nelson Ernie Baxter" I told him while my hand still attached to his. "How did you know my middle name" Nelson asked me totally freaked out. I could tell and I felt a smirk on my face. "I know everything Nelson" I told him and I sighed looking at tape six in my hands. "You almost done Stevie" Nelson observed with me. "Yeah I suppose and yet I don't even know the tape I'm on" I told him clearly frustrated. "Don't worry, you almost there" Nelson told me and I just felt kind off at ease. I got up from seat saying goodbye to Nelson, seeing his parents talking to him. I'm guessing about the drug problem and rehabs and stuff. I really do hope that Nelson get better and get rid of the drugs for good. I put the tape in the cassette player and sighed before pushing play on the tape.

_You must be in the hospital which is why you are listening to this tape. This is where I, Zander Robbins spent most of my time no thanks to you Brad Robbins. You dad, I loved you; I made so much excuses about the bruises the trips to the hospital. I wanted desperately for you to stop. You said you were going to be done drinking, I must have been wrong totally. I believed every time that you weren't going to hurt me. Do you even remember when you put me in a coma, huh do you Brad, because I do. I was in that coma for at least 3 months. The worst part Brad Robbins was the emotionally abuse you gave me. It was worse than when you physically hurt. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I really did. How could you call me fat and a slut? It hurt worse than anybody calling me that. Maybe because you Brad Robbins were my father, did you know that because of that it was beginning of my cutting problem and my eating disorder? You didn't stop me from cutting so much. There were so many times I wanted to bleed to death but I didn't care about anything for one I had no friends and the only person to ever cared about me was my own mother who is dead. So thanks Brad Robbins for ruining more than Gary, Alexis, George, Coach Smith, but I do still love you Dad. Goodbye Dad, I just wished you would have stopped drinking before I left this world. _

The tape stopped and there was something different in Zander's tone it was filled with vulnerability not anger, not bitterness but rather sadness. I got off the waiting room and I saw Kevin Reed staring at Nelson before taking a deep breath. "You can do this you know" I told him and he turned around. "He hates me and I hate him" Kevin replied to me. "No you don't you still care so why are you staring at him plus Kevin he needs you. You're his best friend" I informed before leaving the hospital. I turned the tape around and looked at the map the next place was my house. Could this be my tape or not, gosh I hope so. I walked through the door of my house. I noticed that nobody was at home. It said Chris room. I felt a sick pain in my stomach. What could have Chris done? I thought to myself. I walked into his room, it wasn't clean as it is usually is. I could tell whatever was on this tape it tearing my big bro up and that was scared me the most. It could change everything the way I love my brother what if I starts to hate him. I sat down on his bed and took a deep breath before pressing the one button that I need to. This tape wasn't about me and I knew it but I felt anxious.

_Welcome back, listeners, and of course the lovely Chris Baskura the older sibling of Stevie. The girl I must say I was crushing on. Does she know about your job? You Chris, I never had any reason to hate until that one night where you thought it would be fun to attacked me and raped me. It was worse than anything it was worse than the football players doing because I was awake and you knew what the hell you were doing. You were friends with Gary Tony and everybody else at Adam High won't you. But don't worry, Chris your secret is safe well except for people that's on these tapes. Stevie is on one of these tapes and I wonder how she will feel knowing what you did. You somehow managed to convince me to join the football team. Of course you wanted to keep doing what you did that night. _

I looked up and saw Chris opening the door and I took off the headphones that were connected to the cassette player. He reached to touch me and I backed away. "How could you" I screamed at him. "I didn't mean to, it just happened" Chris tried to touch me again. "You are the most disgusting person I have ever met" I told him while storming out of his room. The tape wasn't even close to be done and I knew that. I went to my room and locked the door to my bedroom. I sighed and pushed play to continue this.

_You never stopped, you did it in the locker room, and I remember screaming, begging you to stop. I wanted to tell someone but you told me that you would hurt me if I did. Chris you were always stronger than me and that's why I let you do it to me but I'm tired of you hurting me. So because of you Chris, I thought there nothing else for me to stay. Chris did you ever seem to think about anyone or me. Did you do that to me, did you rape me because you knew I couldn't handle anymore, or was it the fact I liked Stevie more than anything. You blackmailed me, Chris. I guess I should have known that was going to happen since Chris Baskura friends with everyone at Adam. I should have remembered you hanging out with Gary, smoking and doing drugs. You have no excuse for what you did. You were sober and not even high so Chris you were my final straw I suppose but of course there is two more reasons why I killed myself. So congrats Chris I hate you more than anyone I ever could. _

The tape stopped and I felt sick to my stomach. Zander had every right to be bitter about what Chris did to him but in this tape it sounded with so much despair. He was raped so many times, betrayed and of course his father knocking his self-confidence didn't help. Now it makes sense why he kept looking in the mirror, it wasn't because he thought he was all that. It was because Zander Robbins was self-conscious. I could see why Zander wanted to kill himself but what about his friends. Zander was so fucking messed up and he's the most selfish person I have ever met. If Chris is the final straw of Zander's life, where do I fall and what did I do to Zander that made him end his life. I haven't heard what Kacey did on one of the tape actually which means that I and Kacey are the same tape. I couldn't look at Chris the same not after this. I don't even know if I could forgive him.


	7. Tape 7: The last Tape

A part of me was glad that I had one more tape but part of me was sad that it was over and the fact that I made the last tape which means no one else gets these tapes after me. I put the tape in the cassette player and pushed play. I heard some heavy breathing. I was hoping I was on the first side of tape 7. I pushed play taking a deep breath. I heard Chris knocking on my door. I ignored it and focused my attention back to Zander's voice.

_Kacey Simon. Kacey, Kacey. Ex-perf, the girl I liked. You Kacey I thought you and I were friends. I must have been wrong because you aren't my friend or you will never be my friend ever not after what you did. You right Kacey though what you did wasn't even bad compared to Chris and anyone else on this list. Kacey did you have fun messing with me, playing with my heart. You had me believe that Stevie wanted nothing to do with me. How could you do that not only me but to Stevie? You guys are so close that I can't seem to catch my head around it. I then started dating you Kacey. Was this the whole reason why Stevie started to hate me because of you Kacey Simon? _

"I never hated you Zander Robbins no matter what you did. I loved you so much that I wouldn't care what you did or do. I sighed before pushing play on the cassette tape again.

_It doesn't matter anymore Kacey because I'm going to be gone one of these days. I hope you regret what you did to me. You told Stevie I hated her is it because you had a crush on me that would destroy Stevie. You weren't ever her friend were you? Face it Kacey, you were jealous of Stevie all the time, so you thought ruining our friendship was going to benefit you. You couldn't write a song as well as Stevie could and you hated that didn't you. Remember that song only you could be you. I remembered that you claimed that you wrote it but let's face it. You didn't write that song you stole it from me and I went along because Kacey I thought you were a good human being. I must have been on drugs to believe that. When you broke that art project it wasn't an accident you did it on purpose because I wanted to hang out with Stevie than you. Gosh Kacey Simon your nothing but a bitch, slut, whore and everything else in between. Kacey Simon you ruined my relationship with Stevie that's why your one of the thirteen reasons. _

The tape stopped and I looked at the picture next to my nightstand it was gravity 5 all of us not just four of us. All this time I really thought that Zander hated me but Kacey was responsible. I heard the door open and there stood Kacey eying me and the tape that was held in my hands. "I can't believe you" I told her with tears down my face. "I didn't mean to I was so jealous about you and Zander" Kacey stated to me and I didn't move but the tears was falling down faster and faster. "Look Stevie I know what I did and I really do regret" Kacey told me and I just shook my head. "Do you only feel guilty because he's dead" I whispered to her and Kacey opened her mouth. "Get out" I told her while whispering towards her. "Stevie" She said to me with a slight pleading look. "No I mean it Kacey Simon get out of my room and my house" I yelled at her before pushing her out of my room. "We aren't friends get it Kacey Simon" I told her while closing my bedroom door before sliding down onto the floor my tears falling faster. I just started sobbing to myself. I looked up and I saw Zander just standing there. He was wearing jeans with leather jacket along with a white tee. "I'm so sorry Zander" I said to him and he gave me a small smile. "I love you Stevie Elizabeth Baskura" Zander told me before disappearing and I pushed my knees against my chest while the tears fell down. I slowly walked back to my bed and I snuggled against my covers and my pillow. I looked at the cassette player and I turned the tape around to part B of the tape. I pushed play not before sighing a little.

_Stevie Baskura the love of my life, the girl who made me smile, the girl who took the pain away from me, the girl who is talented as what. I loved you Stevie I really did. I know you're wondering why you're on this tape. I just know that you never did anything to me or said anything to me actually. It was your actions, the way you acted towards me. The fact that you made open to love you, that's what you did to me Stevie. You was the only person I felt that I could trust and for that I thank you Stevie. Stevie you didn't ruin me but instead you healed me a little bit except when I thought you hated me. I loved you Stevie more than I thought I could ever love someone. Stevie I know you didn't mean to hurt me but when you went on that date with that Robert guy it broke my heart into several pieces I didn't know that was there. I always thought that if I had you I could survive. I wanted you to know the real me and I was scared that if I let you in that somehow I wouldn't be able to keep myself from hurting you. Stevie I know you're not the judgmental person but still I never said out loud that I had an eating disorder, cutter, a victim of rape so many times and a victim of abuse. I didn't want you to see me as the vulnerable person I was on the inside. You didn't ruin me but somehow I knew that if we got together I would ruin you and maybe that's why you're on this list. To be honest I don't know why you're on there. I guess when I thought about all things that happened to me, the first thing I thought about was you. I loved so much that it managed to hurt me into pieces. I want you to know Stevie you had nothing to do on this list but I killed myself because I was afraid and broken so broken beyond repair. I wanted to believe that you could save. You are the least likely person to belong on this tape. You are better than Chris, Gary, Alexis, Brittney, George, Coach Smith, Principal Rock, and Officer Stratford. You are better than Kacey, Nelson, Kevin and everyone else. Stevie Elizabeth Baskura you are the toughest girl, I ever met in my life. Zander laughed right there. I want you to promise that you won't ever change no matter what happen because Stevie someone else will love you just like I did I guarantee it. Stevie I fell madly in love with you and that's why your on this tape because I couldn't help fall in love with you and I knew I never had a chance. Trust me Stevie you're much different than anyone else on this tape. I promise you that. You made me fall in love with you and that's was my fault. I wasn't good enough for you. Goodbye Stevie Elizabeth Baskura. I love you never forget that. _

The tape stopped and I felt the tears coming out of me faster and faster. Goodbye Zander. I will always love you. I'll never forget you. I promise. I took the last tape out of the cassette player and put the tape in with the other tapes that was located in the box. I put the box in deep with my closet.

Author's Note: Well's guys that's it for this story but comment if you want a sequel I could put out this summer.


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